* picture of my 2nd brother and i.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Posted by
ELLE
at
2:18 PM
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Friday, June 27, 2008
wow, its Friday already. i've been avoiding a lot of people lately. i've avoided Ben and his friends, Danny, and my friends both in singapore and perth. i dont know what have gotten into myself. i feel like ending my life right now. i'm sorry msn peeps, i wont be going online for the time being.
i dont know why but i felt like listing all(almost) my problems here, right now.
Firstly, i had a big fight with Danny. incase you dont know who Danny is, he's my second older brother. he's 2o years old but doesnt look like one.. maybe because we have asian blood in us. okay, the problem right now is that he always ticked me off. just now in the morning, while we were having breakfast, he told me that he got 2 tickets and that he's bringing me to catch a movie. but later, he told me that he changed his mind and that he's catching a movie with his new friend, Amy. i was soo angry that i punched him hard in the arm. He then shouted at me saying i was fucked up all.. oh hell, lets just forget bout it. i feel like its all my fault that i had a fight with him even tho he kinda started it. i want to apologise to him but..
i think i've fallen for Ben but i cant! i cant love him! i dont know why! i'm sorry Aza. i cant control my feelings. i seriously cant. i dont know who to choose right now. Aza, my current boyfriend or Ben, my bestfriend. i know this is wayyy wrong but.. i dont know. I need peace.
and Kira, i read your blog. i know what i'm doing now is wrong. I'm so sorry. Please dont think i'm a bitch or a slut. Please. I'm really sorry. Aza's so far away from me. I couldnt feel the actual feeling of love between me and him even tho i love him. But Ben is with me. He's not far away.
Please understand me. right now, i dont know how to tell Aza about this. i'm afraid that i'll break his heart. Dont worry, i'll tell him when the time is right. Please keep it away from him. Thank you and i'm really sorry for everything.
Posted by
ELLE
at
9:15 PM
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comments
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
i'm in a daze.couldnt figure out what i did was right or wrong. i felt bad for him.. or maybe i'm not. Ben held a party at his house.. that night, i actually got drunk! Ben called my parents telling them that i was sleeping over. that was worst sleepover i had! i remembered hugging and kissing Ben before going to bed. But nothing actually happen. Just slept next to Ben. well, whatever.. i feel weird when i meet up with Ben now. Maybe we'll stop meeting each other for the time being.. whenever i'm with Ben, i feel all fucked up. i dont know how i should feel.. angry? happy? sigh.. well, here's the photo i took with Ben and his friends during the party.
oh and, i'm sorry.
Posted by
ELLE
at
5:40 PM
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Thursday, June 19, 2008
i am so sorry to the people in msn.
had a lazy day yesterday.
and actually woke up late.
around 3-4pm.
right after i woke up, Ben called.
told me he was trying to reach me since 12 pm.
sorry BEN!
FYI, i am so touched by my msn peeps.
THEY MISSED ME!
love you guys.
Ben called me to accompany him.
his friends was unavailable.
and i was unavailable too.
followed mum shopping.
sorry BEN again!
you should have called me earlier.
i would like to accompany you.
but i cant.
sorry ya?
Posted by
ELLE
at
11:02 PM
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Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Posted by
ELLE
at
12:00 AM
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Monday, June 9, 2008
Posted by
ELLE
at
9:48 AM
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